Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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