Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
