handjob tips. give me some.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
