Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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