Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
