I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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