just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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