remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
