What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
