no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
