They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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