i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
