Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize