I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
