I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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