please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
