so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
