dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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