hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Randomize
