I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
