Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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