woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize