The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
