i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
