I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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