im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
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