hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
