He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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