so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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