Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
