you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
