we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize