You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Life is so much better after having sex.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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