dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
