I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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