there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
We need a shit load of segways right now
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
