I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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