I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
it glows. i had to have it.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
