i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
