You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize