I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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