so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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