i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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