i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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