.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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