How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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