just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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