Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
