The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
