I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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