Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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