Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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