I want to have your abortion
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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