im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
