Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
