ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
