The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
