But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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